Archive for category Personal

It is a New Year……now what?

Acrylic painting of Motmot birds

2.5″ X 3.5″

© Nkolika Anyabolu (MD)

Click here to buy

It sure does feel good to be back here. 2009 was a tough and pretty turbulent year for me (hope it was better for you?). It was the year I found new joy in my best work of art and also the year I lost the pillar in my life: My father. 2009 also brought some profound changes and with them came great challenges.

Challenges are meant to bring out the best in us and I am glad they are doing just that in my life. After receiving the news of my father’s death, all I wanted to do was paint……paint and paint some more. Grief comes with it an array of feelings and there is no one best way of dealing with it. For me, talking about my feelings helped but what brought tremendous amount of healing was painting.  I spent the weeks following  his death painting. Something was unlocked somewhere and there was a great outflow of inspiration. I wonder; is that why many of the great masters had very sad and unhappy lives? Why is sadness and grief always closely associated with great inspiration?

My dad was buried on the 20th of November, 2009. I flew back home with my daughter to pay our last respects and to be with my mother. Oft times during our stay in Nigeria, I found myself staring at my daughter (who was 6 months then) and wishing I could be like her. She had no idea what was going on around her; all she was ever bothered about was food, sleep and my presence. She enjoyed the company of her little cousins and the little children around. While she and every other child was having a good time discovering new things and enjoying the change of environment; we the adults were having headaches and worrying over how the burial would go. And added to that we were faced with the added task of re-adjusting to life without our dad. Oh how I wish I could be a child sometimes!!!

So many things seemed to be happening at the same time. Shortly after I came back from home, I had to start packing. This was a major process as everything had to be packed up. My last days in Botswana were memorable ones. My family and I were surrounded by people who were both happy and sad at the same time. Happy that we were moving up the ladder. And sad that they were not the ones leaving. I guess nothing is new under the face of the sun. I wonder, why on earth would someone punish himself by being sad over someone else’s success?

So far 2010 has brought some very pleasant surprises and openings. On the 1st of Jan, I relocated to Poole, Dorset with my family. For me it is a dream come true. For many who do not know or appreciate the difficulties that abound in Africa, you may never understand where I am coming from.

I have always believed in being optimistic and positive. Expecting the best in every situation and trying to make the best out of every situation: be it good or bad. And like most people would tell you: it always pays to be optimistic. Once again, I am happy to proclaim that it pays to BE POSITIVE because you are what you think about and like the saying goes “Be careful what you think about; you might get it” it is true. Nevertheless, I am grateful to God.

Moving from one house to another  is one thing but moving from one continent to another is a totally different ball game. I came to UK in the middle of the winter, which has been described as the harshest winter in over 60 years. Places like Scotland had temperatures of -21 at some point. Imagine moving from a furnace into a deep freezer? That is what I did. The temperatures in Maun, Botswana were averaging 35 – 40 degrees before I left. And I found myself hit with temperatures of -2 degrees. Oh it was a big relief. While the whole of Europe and America was complaining about the cold, I was relieved and happy.

So far, so good. Still settling in. I guess it is going to take sometime to fully settle in but it is coming on gradually, Ella is adjusting beautifully too. All I see around me every time I step out of my house are OPPORTUNITIES. Endless strings of opportunities for an artist and anyone aspiring for greater heights in life.

The question I ask myself everyday now is now what??????

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My Father has gone to be with the Master Artist

Prof M N Obiako

On the 11th of September, 2009 my father; Prof Michael Nwafor Obiako went to be with God the master artist.

He was (is) an accomplished Academic Professor who trained hundreds of doctors in Nigeria, many of whom are scattered around the globe.

He was also a German trained (University of Heidelberg) Consultant Specialist of Otorhinolaryngology (Ear, Nose and Throat) and was very dedicated at his work.

Those he left behind to continue with the struggle on earth include my mother; his wife of 51 years, 2 sons, 4 daughters and 15 grand-children

When I called home that faithful evening to know how everyone was I had no premonition that the call I would get less than a hour later would change my life in more ways than one. The words my brother uttered to me through the phone that faithful night has continued to reverberate in my ears and seems to get louder as the days go by. They were words I dreaded the most, words I knew would be spoken to me one day but deep down inside I never wanted to hear. Words that were permanent……too permanent.

It has been a very traumatic time for me as I try to come to terms with the fact that “Death” has come knocking on my door. I have gone through (still going through) a plethora of feelings. First it was shock and disbelief. Then it was fear. Then anger. Now I feel so overwhelmed with sadness. My consolation lies in what the bible says about the children of God: “We do not mourn like those who have no hope”.

It is one thing to hear of death and see people die. It is a totally different ball  game when you loose a loved one………….someone who has been there all your life.  I have always known that death is a sure end for each and every one of us. Like most people say “Death is the only thing in life that comes with a 100% guarantee”. But no matter how much literature you know or how much you tell yourself that one day you would lose someone close to your heart. Nothing ever prepares you for the feeling that instantly overwhelms you when it happens.

No earthly pleasures, no kingdoms of this world can benefit me in any way. I prefer death in Christ Jesus to power over the farthest limits of the earth. He who died in place of us is the one object of my quest. He who rose for our sakes is my one desire. Do not talk about Jesus Christ as long as you love this world.

~St Ignatius of Antioch

Prof M N Obiako

With my dad in 2007

My dad’s death has opened a whole new chapter in my life and has reinforced all my principles that focus on the brevity of this life and the need to focus not on the things this world calls “important” but on God alone.

Not the goods of the world, but God. Not riches, but God. Not honors, but God. Not distinction, but God. Not dignities, but God. Not advancement, but God. God always and in everything.

~St. Vincent Pallotti

Many people ask me how I have been able to combine art and medicine. Many have often wondered out loud how I was able to get through the rigorous schedule of Medical school and still maintain an art portfolio. I too wonder the same all the time. But one thing I know is that it was not easy but the load was lighter because my parents were strongly behind me. Always encouraging me every step of the way.

My dad always marveled at how I was able to draw a perfect straight line without the aid of a ruler. He always told me he was very poor in art and that he once sat paralyzed and confused in his pre-med biology class when they were given a cockroach to dissect and draw. He told me countless number of times how he asked God for a child who could do better at drawing than he could ever dream of. And Lo and Behold he got me.

Prof M N ObiakoMy Dad listening and watching with awe and pride during my first solo exhibition

Every painting I created was a masterpiece in his eyes and he would often come into my room, sit and watch me paint. I can never forget the way his face lit up when I showed him the portrait I did of him.

He never missed any  event in my life. When I had my first solo exhibition he traveled across 5 states to be there in person. He beamed with so much pride and awe during the exhibition as I took my guests round and explained the inspiration behind each painting. He was just as shocked as they were that his little girl (his youngest child) could paint in a way that would leave everyone awed and have so much stories to tell about each work.  There was no end to the stories he told about all that he saw.

Prof M N Obiako

My Father and I with the State Governor during my Exhibition

With his departure has come a renewed inspiration and sense of purpose. I have sunken myself into my art. Painting with so much fervor and inspiration. Painting is the one sure way I can let out all that is bottling up inside me. It is my one sure way of “Praying without tiring”. It is my escape route. I know and I pray that I will immortalize Paapa (my favorite name for him) through and with my art in a way that material success and academic excellence could not.

We must pray without tiring, for the salvation of mankind does not depend on material success; nor on sciences that cloud the intellect. Neither does it depend on arms and human industries, but on Jesus alone.

~ St. Frances Xavier Cabrini

Prof M N Obiako

With my parents during my Exhibition

There is so much to say and so much to remember him for/by. He has ran his race and has completed it. Indeed he ran it very well. It is left to us to do the same. To run a good race, may we lean not on our own understanding but trust solely on God. As for me:

When peace like a river, attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll,

Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say it is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet

Tho’ trials should come

Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ has regarded my helpless state

It is well, It is well with my soul

Prof M N Obiako

Prof M N Obiako

1929 – 2009

Adieu Paapa, you shall live on forever in my heart. Adieu Daddy……………Adieu.

May your soul through the mercy of GOD rest in perfect peace. AMEN

N:B This would be my last post for a while. I would be away for sometime in order to attend my father’s burial and funeral ceremonies. I would put up the pictures of the paintings I have been working on once I return. Please do keep checking back.

Thank you and All the very best.

Nkolika

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My best work of art

I would like to formally introduce my best work of art. Not that I am the creator, I was merely the vessel used by the master artist: Our Heavenly Father. Her name is Emmanuella Chinyelu. Chinyelu means “God gave”. She is the sole reason why I was absent for some time.

She’s 2 months old now and I must admit that motherhood is a mystery that I never knew was so deep and fulfilling.  Anytime I look at her tiny frame and features I’m filled with the same emotions I get from every piece of art I create: joy, happiness, sadness and fulfillment

  • Joy because she is MINE.
  • Happiness because the union between  my husband and I is now complete.
  • Sadness because I know the world is cruel and I cannot completely protect her from the cruelty of life itself.
  • Fulfillment because I desired to be used by God to create a new being

Yesterday she received her triple vaccination and she wept the whole day. Never did I imagine that one day I would stand by and watch the one being I would like to protect so much go through so much pain. But it was necessary and is definitely necessary to allow our loved ones to go through life on their own and become who they’re made to be. Sometimes it’s a great show of love and kindness to let them suffer because you know it’s for the best.

One thing I know for sure is that my art would be different from now on. Because I now fully appreciate what life is all about and how much of it is way beyond our control. Now I know the value of enjoying every minute and being thankful for every second that passes by. Now I know………..

Grant, O Lord, that my heart may neither desire nor seek anything but what is necessary for the fulfillment of Your Holy Will. May health or sickness, riches or poverty, honors or contempt, humiliations, leave my soul in that state of perfect detachment to which I desire to attain for Your greater honor and Your greater glory. Amen

— St. Ignatius Loyola

ART-DEVINE-SLASHER

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May her soul rest in peace

With my Grandma a few days before my wedding

2 days ago when I picked up the phone to call my mum, I least expected to be told that my Grandma was dead. Apparently she died early that morning and though my mum sent a message telling me, I never got it. Somehow I felt a big urge to call home. Little did I know that I truly felt her death. She was 92 years old and though death at that age is considered a thing of joy because many of us may never get the privilege of living that long; one still can’t deny the fact that it is still painful to loose a loved one.

I saw her last a few days before my wedding in December 2007. I believe so much in the blessings of parents, thus I made sure I made out time in between the preparations for my wedding to take my then husband-to-be to her and get her blessings. Though she had been bedridden for years and could not speak she was always able to recognize me and her face always lighted up whenever she saw me.

Nkolika Anyabolu with her Grandmother

Introducing my man to my grandmother

She was so happy when I introduced my husband-to-be to her. She shook so visibly and tears welled up in her eyes. Though we could not make out what she was saying we felt the strength of her blessings as she poured it out on us the best way she could. Little did I know that that was going to be the very last time I would see my beloved grandma.

One thing is for sure and that is time waits for no one. Whatever we can do to let someone know we love him/her, we should do it now because a life filled with regrets is definitely not a happy one to live.

I pray that God continues to strengthen each and every one of us who has to go through the loss of a loved one. For my mother and her siblings, I pray for God’s strength and grace to bear the loss of their mother.

May the soul of my grandmother and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in perfect peace

Amen

ART-DEVINE-SLASHER

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